Seafood Paella (or Paella Valenciana), on the Grill!

Disclaimer:  I make no claims about how "authentic" this recipe is.  I try to write recipes that are true to the time-honored and time-consuming cooking techniques of the originators, while keeping in mind that most folks don't have pimento wood laying around for a true Jamaican jerk experience, for example.

After months of research, I've learned that paella-making varies with each cook, so there isn't any one "authentic" paella recipe. But you can't go wrong with seafood, garlic, and a grill-so use this recipe as a backbone for your own paella-making approach and have some fun.

Traditional paella is made over an open flame in a large, handled paella pan.  A lot of recipes call for cooking the paella over two burners on your stove, or sauteing then baking the dish.  My recipe is even easier, and there are a lot of benefits to cooking the paella on the grill.  One, your kitchen doesn't heat up, so it's great for summer. Also, people are impressed when you can cook more than brats and burgers over an open flame.  (Why? I have no idea, but try it and you'll see what I mean.) Finally, grilling the chicken and chorizo while you make your sofrito saves some time and adds the perfect smokiness to the dish that you don't get from sauteing them on your stove.

 This recipe can feed approximately 8 people, so plan on leftovers or call some friends.  Paella is even better the next day, so you can legitimately have guests over for "leftovers" with this recipe, and they will love you for it.

And I've said it before, but if you cook at home, there's no reason why you can't take the chicken carcass and the shrimp shells and make your own stock.  It's easy, healthy, and will save you loads of money. I can't tell you how many times I've been able to make last minute meals making soups or risottos with whatever is in my fridge/pantry and some homemade stock from the freezer. Think about it.


Paella Valenciana with Shrimp, Squid, Chorizo, Chicken, and Clams Recipe

1 whole chicken, skinned and cut into thighs, drumsticks, and breast pieces and seasoned w/saltpepper
8 cloves garlic, minced
3 ripe tomatoes, chopped (some say to "grate the tomatoes." That thought grosses me out)
1 medium onion, chopped
3 Tbs. olive oil
4 cups shrimp stock, fish stock, or clam juice
Large pinch saffron
2 cups arborio or another short-grained rice (important-the rice has to absorb the broth. Short grained rices do this well)
1 lb. uncooked shrimp, peeled but with tails intact
1/2 lb. chorizo sausage, pierced with a knife in several places
3-4 whole uncooked squid, with the bodies cut into rings
12-15 uncooked clams, scubbed
1 cup peas (can use frozen + thawed)
1 yellow and 1 red bell pepper, cut into strips
2 tsp. salt,  more to taste
2 tsp. smoked paprika
3 Thyme sprigs
3 lemons, cut into wedges
Black pepper to taste

Bring the stock to a boil, then add the saffron.  Keep the broth/saffron covered and simmering on low for at least 1 hour before you add it to the paella. 

Prepare the grill for direct medium-high heat (If you're using your weber kettle, fill the charcoal chimney up with coals.  Once they are hot, dump them into the middle of your grill and add 8 or so cold coals on top of the hot ones.)  Cover the bottom of your paella pan with foil to protect it a little from the fire.

Put the pan on the grill, and heat the olive oil.  This may take a minute or two. Add the chicken pieces to the grill surrounding the paella pan and let them cook. The boneless breast pieces and will need to be pulled off the grill long before the bone-in pieces, so have a clean plate standing by. As you remove the cooked breast pieces from the grill, add the chorizo and grill until browned. (This adds flavor to the sausage, and allows some of the grease to cook out so your paella tastes fresh and light, not greasy). Remove the chorizo and once cooled, cut into slices.

Once the oil is hot, add the onion and cook 5 minutes.  Add the garlic and cook one minute.  Add the tomatoes and cook, stirring constantly until the tomato mixture darkens and reduces to the consistency of jam.  Now you have a sofrito.  Woohoo!

Bring the broth mixture on your stove back to a slow boil. Add your rice to the sofrito in your paella pan and toast the rice for 2 minutes. Stir in the boiling broth mixture, peppers, squid, chicken, paprika, salt, a pinch of pepper, thyme, and chorizo. (Classic case of "do as I say, not as I do." Don't add the peas yet!).

Cover the grill and let cook for 35 minutes. After 35 minutes, check to make sure your paella is cooking. If some of the rice looks wetter than other parts of the pan, push it towards the center of the pan gently with a spoon. Once the rice is almost cooked, add the peas, push the clams down into the rice, and lay the shrimp on top. Cover the grill and cook another 10 minutes, or until the clams open up. Carefully remove the paella from the grill, remove the thyme sprigs, and serve with lemon wedges for people to squeeze over their paella before eating.

How to Smoke a Turkey on a Weber Kettle Grill

OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGodohmyGod, Look What I Did!! Seriously, I did that. And I maybe cried a few happy tears when I saw that bronze lacquered skin, and heard the meat thermometer beep as it reached 160 degrees.

This post should be called "The Smoked Turkey Experiment," because I essentially read a few vague web pages, threw this big boy in the Weber kettle, chugged a few glasses of wine to take the edge off my fretting, and hoped that instinct and the aforementioned meat thermometer would see me through. (The thermometer is amazing, FYI--it has a pager that goes off when the desired temp. is reached. Drunk grilling just got a whole lot easier.) Hypothesis: If you can start a charcoal grill, you can smoke a turkey. Conclusion: Affirmed.

Let the record show, I have never even roasted a turkey. I've never really roasted anything--when your parents keep your spoiled ass set up with kitchen gadgets like a countertop rotisserie, you don't roast, you rotisserize. If I can pull this off, anyone can, and should.

The smoked turkey had a beautiful, flavorful skin and the meat had a juicy texture that was tender, not chewy. Mr. Luz carved the bird, and he kept sort of giggling and mumbling "..so tender...falling off the bone..." And it was so smooth, rich, and smokey in flavor. Later, after a few bottles of wine, Mr. Luz called it 1.) the best turkey he'd ever tasted and 2.) in the top 5 best tasting meats he'd ever had. (When asked to do impressions, a wine-soaked Mr. Luz did: Mama BaCon--"I got you some tupperware, and it fits the whole universe." Papa BaCon--"The Hunley is a magnificent watercraft, simply stunning." Me: "F*** you, you f****** b****." He doesn't remember doing them, but they were pretty accurate.)

Instructions:

1. If using a brine, thaw your turkey at least 32 hours before you cook it. Once thawed, prepare the brine and soak your turkey for 24 hours plus. This Serious Eats Food Lab article is the best I've read on how and why you brine a turkey. Before smoking, thoroughly rinse your turkey in cold water. *NOTE: I didn't get the turkey in time to brine it, and it was still fantastic, but brining would take it to the next level. *

2. If not brining, thaw your turkey in the fridge for two days, or use the cold-water method just before smoking. (Soak in cold water, in the packaging, changing the water ever 30 minutes. It takes approximately 30 minutes per pound.)

3. Soak 3-4 handfuls of mesquite wood chips in water. 1 hour minimum for chips, 4+ hours for large knots of wood.

3. Once the turkey has thawed, remove giblets/neck from turkey and rinse inside and out. Pat dry. If your turkey is 16+ lbs. you might want to cut the entire turkey in half at this time. Yes, this is the cheater way to do it, but you'll avoid black turkey skin, and you won't fret/gulp wine for 8+ hours, wondering if the damned thing is even cooking.

4. Prepare 1 chimney of hot charcoal. Place a pan of liquid on the center of your bottom grate (water, wine, beer, broth, ect.) and spread the hot coals around it. Add 5-7 cold coals to the hot coals. Put the 3/4 of the soaked wood chips on top of the hot coals, open the bottom and top vents on the grill, and close the lid.

5. Cover your turkey inside and out with olive oil/melted butter and salt, pepper, dried thyme, and cayenne pepper. Put the turkey on the grill grate, breast side up, placing the turkey directly over the liquid-filled drip pan. (If you cut your turkey in half, put the meat facing up and the bones facing down.)

6. Every hour, quickly check your coals and baste your bird with more butter/olive oil. Halfway through smoking, prepare another chimney of hot coals and add it to your Weber grill, along with the last 1/4 of the wood chips. Your bird will generally need 30 minutes per pound to cook, and if you cut it in half then count the time based on the weight of 1/2 the turkey. Every time you open the lid, you increase your cooking time so do it sparingly. Trust me, it's cooking.

7. When a meat thermometer inserted in the breast but not touching the bone (ESSENTIAL) reaches 160 degrees, your bird is done and safe to eat. Carefully remove it from the grill, let it rest at least 15 minutes, carve, and serve.

St. Louis Good Eats: BBQ Pork Steaks

Summer's almost over, but it certainly ain't over yet and I have another grilling recipe to prove it. Keeping with tradition here at BaCon, this recipe produces pretty impressive results with relatively little work. (leaving plenty of time for beer drinking and impromptu dance parties, of course. I have my priorities in line.)

My love for the grill actually started one Summer afternoon in South St. Louis, Missouri. I was a recent college grad, and I found myself with some free time, absolutely no cooking skills, (Mama BaCon will tell you that at this point in my life I could "burn water"), and a tiny table-top charcoal camping grill. On this particular day, I skipped the frozen section at the grocery store and instead headed to the more daunting butcher department for some pork steaks. I was craving some St. Louis Summer food, and though I didn't quite pull it off on that day (don't ask), I became mildly obsessed with the smoky, familiar smell of meat on a hot grill, and the pursuit of the perfect grilling recipe.

Now for the facts. If you've never had a BBQ pork steak, well--I'm truly sorry. Pork steaks are also known as blade steak or pork shoulder steak because they come from cutting a Boston Butt, or shoulder roast, into 1 inch steaks. They're typically rimmed with fat and almost like beef brisket in texture--super dense and flavorful--so they're perfect for BBQing. Although they're truly a staple of St. Louis Summers, you can find pork steaks in D.C.. Mama and Papa BaCon drove mine down from St. Louis when I was in NOLA (yes, am spoiled) but you can have the butcher at your grocery store cut some for you if you find yourself without a cross-country delivery service.

Besides fire and smoke, the key component to any good St. Louis style pork steak is either a tasty caramelized crust or a slow simmer thanks to a sweet, spicy tomato based BBQ sauce. I start with Sweet Baby Ray's and doctor it, but feel free to use your favorite from the store or your spice cabinet, so long as it's tangy and tomato based.

St. Louis Style BBQ Pork Steaks:

4 pork steaks, untrimmed and seasoned with salt and pepper
3 cups of your favorite BBQ sauce
3 large cloves of garlic
1 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
1 Tbs. dried oregano
1 Tbs. brown sugar
3-4 beers (and more for drinking)

Prepare your charcoal grill or turn your gas grill on medium direct heat. If using charcoal, spread the hot coals in an even thin layer over the bottom of the grill. Grill the seasoned pork steaks over medium direct heat for 7-10 minutes, or till the meat has browned and some of the fat has rendered and turn and cook the other side for another 5-10 minutes. In an older, clean metal baking pan or an aluminum pan with high sides, add the BBQ sauce, garlic, cayenne, brown sugar, and oregano with one beer.

Place the pork steaks in the pan, and add more beer until the pork steaks are 1/2 covered. Tightly cover the pan with foil, and place on the grill. Cover, and simmer for 2-3 hours. Occasionally listen to the pan, and if it's stopped bubbling, add 1 more beer and re-cover to continue cooking.

When the pork steaks are mostly falling off the bone, carefully remove them from the pan and serve.

Celebrate Someone Special with a Hawaiian Luau Dinner

Aloha from sunny Washington D.C.! That's me, on the right. Aren't I handsome? Of course there's no way that could be me, mainly because if I'm going to the trouble of matching a hat to my outfit, it would be far more fantastic than than the plain thing this guy is wearing.

But I digress. Tis' time for the First Annual Mr. Luz Birthday Extravaganza post. This post is dedicated to the one and only Party Momster. She's a Birthday-party-aholic, and you can check out her blog here. Party Momster says "I just love the permission a Birthday gives you to escape the everyday and do things you wouldn't normally do. And just be over-the-top in making someone feel special."

Well, Party Momster, Mr. Luz and I agree with you and applaud your dedication to the under appreciated art of partying. Here's to you.

Mookalakaheeki. Come on, you wanna lei me. Pass the poi, Mahalo. A Luau Menu in 4 Parts

This menu should serve 8-10 for dinner, and you can easily convert everything into appetizers. (get some Hawaiian buns and make smoked pork & pineapple salsa sandwiches, cut the ribs into small portions, and spoon the potato salad onto a lettuce wrapper pupu platter-styles.)

Char Sui Ribs: (for 6 lbs. of ribs)
This recipe was relatively easy, because the Asian-inspired ingredients added a richness to the ribs even though I didn't brown them before braising. They were sweet and mellow, and so tender that they weren't really ribs so much as piles of pork with some random bones sitting around. (Oops!) The glaze adds flavor without mess, so don't skip that part.

I think it's typical for Hawaiians to bake rather than braise these puppies, but I'm not experienced with that technique. Instead, I went with a tried and true approach and was rewarded with luscious pork ribs and a lovely soy-roasted garlic-sesame oil perfume throughout the house as the guests arrived.

2 Slabs of Baby Back Ribs (6 lbs.)
1/2 Cup Light Brown Sugar
2 Tbs. Vanilla Extract
1 Cup Hoisin Sauce
4 Tbs. Sesame Oil
4 Tbs. sliced Garlic
4 Tbs. sliced Ginger
4 Tbs. Soy Sauce (I used 2 Tbs. each of regular and low-sodium)

Trim excess fat from the ribs, and remove the tendon from the back of the ribs if you prefer. Place the ribs in a large baking dish with the meaty side facing down.

Mix the rest of the ingredients in a large bowl and pour over the ribs in the roasting pan. Add enough water to the pan so that the ribs are covered ½ way. Cover tightly with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 2.5 hours.

After 2.5 hours, check on the ribs. If they are tender, remove the ribs to a large dish and pour 4 cups of the braising liquid into a sauce pan.

Skim the fat off of the braising liquid and boil until caramelized and reduced to 2 cups. Brush the glaze over the ribs, and if desired, bake at 450 degrees for 5 minutes, or until the glaze has set on the ribs. Cut into the desired size, and serve.

Smoked Island Pork Tenderloin:
Maybe I don't have room in my "yard" to bury an entire pig with some coals and ti leaves, but I do know how to marinade and smoke stuff. Hence the inspiration for this smoked pork recipe. The pork was succulent from its milky marinade, and our guests commented that the coconut flavor was subtle, and yummy.

3 lb. Pork Tenderloin
1 can Coconut Milk (approx. 2 cups)
3 Tbs. Soy Sauce
1 Tbs. Lime Juice
1 cup Pineapple Juice
2 Tbs. chopped Garlic
3 Tbs. chopped Ginger
2 Tbs. Asian 5-Spice
Salt and Pepper

Trim the excess fat and tendon off of the pork tenderloin. Add the remaining ingredients to a blender and blend until the garlic and ginger are minced. Place the tenderloin in a non-metal bowl, and pour the marinade over the top. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours. If the marinade does not cover the pork, turn it halfway through.

Prepare the grill for smoking. Remove the pork from the marinade, and season liberally with 5-spice, salt, and pepper. Place the pork on the center of the grill, over indirect heat and the drip pan, and smoke for 40 minutes. You can turn and baste with any reserved marinade after 30 minutes, but PLEEZE keep the grill closed otherwise. The pork should be medium after 40 minutes, but smoke for an additional 20 if you want it to be well done.

Remove the pork from the grill, let it rest for 10 minutes, and serve with pineapple salsa (see below).

Kimchi Potato Salad:
This is a recipe for an easy, crowd-pleasing side dish with some interesting and unique element and a light, smoky taste. Hawaiians typically serve poi (paste from taro roots) and kimchi (vinegary, pickled cabbage)at luaus, and I struggled with how to make these elements fit with the BBQ theme.

In the end, I added wilted cabbage and vinegar to an Asian-inspired potato salad, and would have added boiled, cubed taro root if it was available. If you do use taro, be careful and do some research. There are toxins in the skin and the flesh, so take extra precautions when skinning and cooking this starchy, sweet root vegetable.

6 slices of Smoked Bacon
1 ½ Cup sliced Purple Cabbage
5 lbs. of Yukon Gold Potatoes, skinned, boiled, and cubed
2 Cups Mayonnaise
2 Tbs. Soy Sauce
1 Tbs. Sesame Oil
1 Tbs. Dijon Mustard
1 Tbs. Rice Wine Vinegar
1 Cup chopped Green Onion
½ Cup chopped Cilantro
4 dashes Hot Sauce
Salt & Pepper to taste

Cook the bacon in a frying pan over medium heat until crispy and coarse chop when cooled. Wilt the cabbage in the bacon fat and drain on paper towels.

Place the cooked potatoes in a large bowl. Add the bacon and cabbage while still warm, if possible. Mix the remaining ingredients in a small bowl, and pour over the potato mixture. Toss, chill, and serve.

Pineapple Salsa:
Fresh pineapple is now my favorite thing ever. That should say it all.

2 Cups fresh Pineapple, chopped (reserve juices)
½ Cup chopped Cilantro
1 Jalapeno, finely chopped
1 Cup chopped Sweet Onion
1 Red Bell Pepper, finely chopped
4 Tbs. chopped Basil
2 Tbs. chopped mint
4 Tbs. Lime Juice
4 dashes Hot Sauce
Salt & Pepper to taste

Place the pineapple and any juices released from chopping in a non-metal bowl. Add the remaining ingredients, and stir. Let the salsa sit in the fridge for 1 hour to let the flavors blend. Serve well-chilled with taro chips and/or on the smoked pork tenderloin.

Grilled Tandoori Chicken with Spicy Mint Chutney & Grilled Curry Cauliflower

Oh dear Lord, it feels good to be back. I cooked like a fiend this weekend, and I now have a fridge full of tasty leftovers and a large quantity of wine that was somehow overlooked at this weekend's dinner party. (Maybe it was all the cosmopolitans and mojitos that Mr. Luz was mixing?)

Speaking of fiending, I've picked up a new and terrible addiction to Indian food, which I attribute to all the take-out that we ate during the move. It's terrible because it's July, and as much as I love spicy, stewed meats, they just aren't ideal in the stifling heat.

So in order to get my weekly fix of garlic/ginger/yogurt/cinnamon/cardamom/ect., I decided to add some decidedly summer elements to my traditional tandoori chicken recipe and brighten it up. I grilled some marinated chicken on my Weber charcoal grill, and then added a spicy, bright mint chutney that was wonderfully summery. I also made some curry-rubbed grilled cauliflower as an experiment, and it was very tasty. I normally don't like cauliflower, but I thought I'd give it another chance. (Pimentos, don't get any ideas. I'll always hate you.) The grilling kept the cauliflower crispy, but sweetened it and brought out some of the subtle earthy flavors in the fibrous vegetable. The curry powder also enhanced the cauliflower's earthy flavor, and gave it a pretty caramel/yellow color at the same time.

NOTE: To make this recipe, I bought organic bone-in chicken pieces, and against my better judgment I cut slits in the meat so the marinade could sink in. Then I cried as all the juices ran out of my chicken as it cooked. Next time I'll either get use small chicken breasts (I don't think the marinade absorbed into the dark meat as well) or I'll reserve some of the yogurt mixture, and baste the chicken with it as it cooks.

Tandoori Chicken

2-4 lbs. chicken
1 cup plain yogurt
1/3 cup lemon juice
1 Tbs. peeled and finely chopped fresh ginger
1 Tbs. finely chopped garlic
2 tsp. coriander
2 tsp. ground cumin
3 tsp. garam masala
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cayenne

Remove the skin from chicken and place the chicken in a non-reactive bowl. Add the remaining ingredients to the chicken and mix well. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator overnight. (If you plan to baste the chicken, mix the marinate in a separate bowl and reserve a small portion of it before adding the rest to the chicken.)

To cook, place the chicken over direct, medium-high heat and cover. Turn the chicken after the meat has browned and until the meat is cooked through. (Baste the cooked parts with marinade, turning and covering one more time to caramelize the marinade before serving). Remove from heat, and let the chicken rest for 10 minutes before serving.

Mint Chutney

1 1/2 cup mint leaves
1/2 cup cilantro leaves
1 chile, chopped (choose for spice--poblano or jalapeno for alot of heat, anaheim if you prefer a mild chutney)
1/4 coarse chopped onion
pinch cumin
2 Tbs. lemon juice
2 tsp. white or rice vinegar
dash sugar
3 Tbs. plain yogurt

Add all the ingredients to a blender, and puree. Refrigerate for 30 minutes, and serve on top or on the side of the tandoori chicken

Grilled Curry-spiced Cauliflower

2 large heads cauliflower (for 6-8 servings)
4 Tbs. olive oil
2 Tbs. curry powder
Salt, Pepper to taste

Remove the leaves and 2 inches of stem on the cauliflower. Rub florets with 3 Tbs. oil. Cut into wedges, keeping the main stem intact but so that each serving has two flat sides that will sit on the grill. Rub cut stems with remaining 1 Tbs. of olive oil. Sprinkle curry powder on florets.

Place on the grill over indirect, medium high-heat and cover. After 5 minutes, turn to put the other cut side on the grill. The cauliflower is done when it is flexible but not too soft, and golden brown.

Smoked Tomato Pasta Sauce with Portabellas and Fennel

This recipe started out as an experiment--a quest, if you will--to make an interesting and unique pasta sauce for a recipe contest. My thought process went something like this: "Bacon is smoked meat, and bacon is yummy. Why not smoke vegetables? Then they'll taste like BACON!"

Maybe that's not 100% accurate, but these smoked veggies gave the pasta sauce a definite smokey, almost meaty flavor and a silky texture.

I wanted the herbs to "pop" against the strong smoke flavor, so I used fennel and tarragon. And the ricotta salata cheese has a mild, salty flavor and beautiful white color that's perfect for this flavorful, zesty tomato sauce.

To smoke veggies [for tips on smoking, check out this post]
5 large Tomatoes
1 large can Artichoke Hearts
3 Portabella Mushroom caps, gills removed
1 bulb of Fennel
1 Anaheim Pepper
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Hickory Chips for smoking
Salt and Pepper

For sauce
4 slices Bacon
4 Garlic Cloves, diced
1 cup chopped Onion
¾ cup White Wine
1 Tbs. Balsamic Vinegar
1 ½ cup Water
12 oz. can Tomato Paste
2 tsp. chopped fresh Tarragon
5 oz. Ricotta Salata Cheese
1 Tbs. Sugar

Salt and Pepper to Taste

Prepared Pasta (I used Buitoni Braised Beef and Sausage Ravioli)

Smoke the Vegetables

Cut the bulb of the fennel and the Anaheim Pepper into two large halves, and place in a bowl of water + 1 Tbs. olive oil. Add the artichoke hearts and portabella mushrooms to the water/oil mixture, and soak everything for 1 hour. Score the skins of the tomatoes with a large X, and coat with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
Soak two handfuls of the hickory chips in water for at least 30 minutes. Prepare a charcoal grill so that the hot coals are spread on 2 sides of the grill, with an aluminum pan filled with water in the middle and separating the coals. Place the soaked hickory chips over the hot coals, and replace the grilling surface.

Place the veggies in the center of the grill, and try to avoid putting them over direct heat. (You may have to make smoke the vegetables in batches). Use a metal tray to keep the artichoke hearts from falling through the grate.

Close the lid and smoke the veggies for 30 minutes. Remove the veggies from the grill--they may not be completely cooked, but they'll finish in the sauce.

Make the Sauce

Once the veggies have cooled, chop the pepper and fennel. Cut the portabellas and artichokes into bite-sized pieces.

Chop the bacon, and saute it in a large, heavy-bottomed pot. Once the bacon begins to brown, add the onion and garlic and saute for 5 minutes. Add the fennel, pepper, portabellas, and artichokes and saute until all of the vegetables are soft and the fennel is sweet.

Peel the skin off of the smoked tomatoes, and core and seed them. (I do this by holding the whole tomato over the pot and using my fingers to slide the soft, smoked tomato off of its core. Ewwww.) Add the tomatoes to the pot, and stir until all of the browned bits come off the bottom of the pan.

Stir in the white wine, balsamic, tomato paste, and water. Add salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a vigorous simmer, reduce heat, and simmer for 1 1/2 hours. Add the tarragon, and simmer for 10 more minutes. Taste the sauce--if it is too smoky for you, add the sugar and simmer for 10 more minutes. Right before serving, crumble or shave pieces of the ricotta salata cheese into the sauce, and enjoy!

Ting Cris: Caribbean Jerk Chicken Salad Recipe

This jerk chicken salad was inspired by a handful of sunny days and wild nights spent in Ocho Rios, Jamaica. I love the open and exuberant people of Jamaica, and the steel drum bands and fresh seafood don't hurt. If you've never been you should absolutely go--plan on a laid-back trip, where everything is on "Jamaican Time," and hone your rum-drinking skills if you're not a fan of the fizzy, malty Red Stripe beer of the island.

There are a hundred things that I love about Jamaica, but the one that I keep coming back to is...Jerk Chicken. Jerk anything is spicy, smoky, and bold. It's great served as a main course (we love to marinate anything meaty in jerk seasoning overnight, grill it, and serve it over cheese grits) or in a salad. I came up with this recipe so I could have a sweet/spicy Jerk Chicken experience for 3 days straight without feeling guilty for overdoing it on the cheese grits. The mayo cuts the spice just a little, while the onion, celery, and apple add a sweet, fresh component to smoky, rich flavors in the chicken. I'd make a double batch, if I were you.

NOTE: I hate to start a recipe with the requirement that you purchase a specific product, but my favorite ready-made jerk seasoning is made in Walkerswood, Jamaica--just outside Ocho Rios. You can find it here, or at most World Market stores. Homemade jerk seasoning requires that you work with scotch bonnet peppers (ouch!) and have loads of nutmeg, thyme, and allspice on hand. I say it's best to leave it up to the experts.

Jerk Chicken Salad:

3 Tbs. Walkerswood Jerk Seasoning

3 large Chicken Breasts

2 Tbs. Creole Mustard

3/4 Cup "Lite Mayo"

2 Tbs. Real, Cholesterol-filled, fatty mayo (you deserve it!)

1 1/2 Cup diced Onion

1 Cup chopped Green Apple

1 stalk Celery, diced

1 1/2 tsp. fresh ground Black Pepper

1 tsp. nutmeg

Make 1 inch-deep cuts in the chicken breasts, against the grain. Cover each chicken breast with 1 Tbs. Walkerswood seasoning, making sure you get the spices into the slits. (Use a spoon--it's awkward, but you don't want scotch bonnets in your eye.) Cover and marinate in the fridge over night (or at for at least 2 hours).

Smoke or grill the chicken. (I know, this may seem annoying, but get some fresh veggies, coat them in seasoning and olive oil, and throw them on the rest of the grill for a yummy snack. Southwest Grilled Corn salad, anyone?)

See? Don't you want this in your chicken salad? Thought so.

Let the chicken rest for at least 10 minutes. When cooled, cube or shred chicken to desired consistency and place in a large bowl. Transfer any accumulated juices to the bowl. Add the remaining ingredients and stir until thoroughly mixed. Cover and refrigerate--serve over lettuce with some fresh pineapple, or as a sandwich.

Tips and Tricks:

Walkerswood, ya'll. I'm supposed to be an expert on smoky, spicy, meaty foods. If you don't take my advice, then I'm going back to writing about smoothies.

The flavors develop as the chicken salad rests, so let it sit overnight. This is not possible if Mr. Luz lives in your house.

You can add more jerk seasoning to the chicken salad if you want more spice.

Resist the urge to add salt...I have regretted every tiny dash that I've added to the final product. The ingredients pack plenty of sodium on their own.

Also, Blogger's formatting BS makes me STABBY.

Reparations I: Meatruck

Sorry about that post below--I think I was having an existential crisis over the fact that I haven't eaten meat, cheese, or grains (!!) in the past 5 days. I just had an illegal cookie, and I think it set me straight. To make amends, and to celebrate the impending death of my health food binge, I give you....

MEATRUCK!

It just seemed like a good omen, waking up to find this sitting outside my house one drizzly Sunday morning. A good omen that is making me regret turning down that LockPicking 101 Course at the Phoenix Online University last Fall.

How to Smoke Food on a Weber Kettle

I've held out long enough. I hereby declare that it's Officially Grillin' Season, even if I have to do it in a parka. (Not that I own a parka, it's just fun to say. Parkuh.)

I love grilling on my weber kettle. It gets at the basics of good cooking--caramelization, heat, and complementary flavors. Also, I get to set things on fire, enjoy the sunshine, and drink beer while I do it. Ever since I booted my 10th-grade-boyfriend out of the way and cooked my first steak over a tiny camping grill, I've been addicted. I've also had a strict rule about letting boys near my fire. That sounds sort of wrong.

In celebration of Grillin' Season, here are some quick tips and instructions for smoking food over a charcoal grill. It's not exhaustive or recipe-specific, but it'll take the mystery out of both grilling and smoking food and leave you a little room to experiment on your own.

1. Using a charcoal chimney: Remove the upper grate used as a cooking surface, but leave the smaller grate at the bottom of the grill in place. Open the vents on the bottom of the grill. Fill the chimney with coals and stuff tight balls of paper in the cavity underneath the coals. (This will make sure the paper lights on fire, rather than simply smolders and ashes.)

Light the paper on fire in several places and observe. If the coals smoke profusely, but you don't feel a significant source of heat after the smoking stops, carefully add more balls of paper to the smoldering paper underneath the chimney. Oxygen is important, so fan the paper underneath the chimney if it's a humid day, or if the breeze is light.

2. Soak your smoking wood chips of choice in water for at least a half hour. Soak longer if possible. I like to use 2 large handfuls of mesquite wood.

3. Once the coals on the top of the chimney are mostly white, and the inner coals are glowing red, carefully dump half of the coals on one side of the lower grill, and half on the other, leaving the middle 1/3 of the lower grill empty. Add 4-5 fresh coals on top of the hot ones on either side. If you're smoking ribs, add an entire loose layer of fresh coals to keep your grill hot for the time it takes to smoke them.

3. Carefully place an empty aluminum casserole pan in the middle of your grill, between the hot coals. (And Lordy, will they be hot!) Use long tongs to move the hot coals, if necessary.

Pour beer, fruit juice, and/or water into the pan to add flavor to the smoke and keep the drippings from charring. Add the wood chips on top of your charcoal, and replace the cooking-surface-grate.

Close the lid on your grill for 5 minutes, making sure the vents are open on the top to allow air to flow over the coals. (This will get the grill hot, so your food sears and is less likely to stick.) Add your food to the grill, placing it directly over the coals for 2-3 minutes. Here I'm using a smaller pork tenderloin, which has been marinated overnight in Walkerswood jerk seasoning.
4. Turn the meat, again placing it over the coals for 2-3 minutes and closing the lid.

If you desire more caramelization on the surface of your meat (I certainly do--it tastes yummy and keeps the juices in) take your chances with taking the lid off and turning the meat frequently until you are just under your desired doneness on the outside. Smoking will further caramelize the outside of your meat.

5. After the initial sear, move the meat to the center of the grill, over the pan of liquid. I smoked this 2 lb. pork tenderloin for 20 minutes and it was done perfectly. For smoking times on specific cuts and sizes of meat, comment below and I'll do my best to reply quickly with the proper smoking time after I check a number of sources. (One of them being my fantastic Weber Cookbook.)
6. To check the doneness of your meat, PLEASE do not hack into it with a knife. Use the Finger Test. Pork should be medium to medium-well.
7. Remove the meat from the grill and let sit for at least 10 minutes. On heating, all the juices in meat rush from the center, and if you cut it right away those juices will be released. If you let it rest, the juices are reabsorbed and your meat stays tender and flavorful. 8. Serve, and enjoy!
To counteract the extreme spice of the jerk seasoning, and to complement the nutmeg and brown sugar flavors in the marinade, I made an orange bacon chutney to go with my smoked pork. I just fried up some bacon (a regular occurrence in my household), sautéed some onion in the bacon grease, deglazed the pan with orange juice, and added chicken stock, agave, and spices until everything tasted fantastic. Then I blended, and served.

The Cavalcade of Marinade I: Broiled Soy Garlic Flank Steak Recipe

It is nowhere near grilling time in D.C. (even though they promised 60 degree weather today...liars) but this week I really, really wanted a large cut of red meat on some veggies after our trip to NOLA. Maybe I failed to mention this, but besides the Holy Trinity (see below) and the jalapeno-pickled green beans (or, jala-beanos) in my bloody marys, I ate nary a veggie while we were there.



I went to the grocery store, and picked out a nice flank steak and a boatload of produce. I happen to love flank steak, though most people find it difficult to prepare. Maybe it's the thin cut, but it always absorbs the flavor of marinades so well, and tastes aged and therefore more like a restaurant steak than a grocery store steak to me.

The process known as "wet aging" allows the muscle tissue to relax, and the cuts are therefore more tender. It also does away with that twangy, metallic taste that steaks sometimes have, so all you get is sweet beef flavor. You can see why this is desirable...

There are a few tricks to preparing a great flank steak, but the three primary ones are: 1. Marinade overnight in the proper marinade 2. Do not overcook it--because it is so lean, flank steak is best served medium rare to medium. 3. Cut across the grain for tender slices.

It's important to find the proper marinade for your cut of meat. A marinade that's too acidic or salty will leave the meat mushy and unable to retain its juices upon cooking. A marinade with too much oil will be bland. Here's one of my favorite marinades, featuring a few of my favorite ingredients. The agave adds a rich sweetness that is pretty complex without being overpowering...it almost adds a sweet buttermilk flavor to the more forward and sharp Asian flavors.

I love this Star's Garlic Olive Oil--making your own garlic olive oil is fun, but it goes bad quickly and you run the risk of bacteria ruining a wonderful meal. Why not pick some of this lovely brew up at your grocery store, and flavor everything from salad dressing, to marinade, to chicken soup with it?

Soy Garlic Flank Steak

1 flank steak, trimmed

1/2 cup Star's Garlic Olive Oil

1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup red wine vinegar

3 tbs. agave sweetener (trust me on this one)

4 cloves garlic, chopped

black pepper

1 small bunch green onions, sliced

Mix everything but steak together in a small bowl. Place steak in a plastic, resealable bag and pour marinade over the top. Marinate overnight on the bottom shelf of your fridge, turning occasionally.

Bring flank steak in marinade to room temperature. This step is very important for cooking the steak evenly. Remove from marinade, and place on broiler pan. Broil for 4 minutes on one side, 3 minutes on another. Remove and let rest for 10 minutes. Slice across the grain, and serve.